Kevin McCarthy Would Want Tobe Jonathan Lachlan MacAlasdair VIII

 Wish you were Jonathan MacAlasdair?

Left: Jonathan Lachlan MacAlasdair VIII. Right: Kevin McCarthy

Jonathan Lachlan MacAlasdair VIII is in a more deeply comfortable position than fellow Irishman Kevin McCarthy (MacAlasdair is predominantly Scottish but has Irish roots). Kevin McCarthy has 222 against 213 votes in his majority, how many votes does MacAlasdair have in his majority? 893 against 107. 

MacAlasdair gets to be laid back with his party, the Chawosaurian Communist Party, having full unified control of literally the entire Imperial Government of the Empire of Chawosauria. Sadly for Kevin, his Republican Party is outgunned by the Democratic Party, who controls the White House and a majority in the U.S. Senate with the unchecked ability to remake the U.S. judiciary and give the torpedoes to conservative legislation and articles of impeachment against Biden and his cabinet officials, ultimately leading to no removal of any of them. 

In 2022, MacAlasdair reclaimed the Prime Ministership on the first ballot, taking advantage of a roomy Communist Party supermajority in the Imperial Assembly, MacAlasdair crushed the first ballot 723-277. 

Kevin McCarthy? Having to put up with the headache of a thin majority in the U.S. House of Representatives by the Republicans' fingernails, Kevin immensely struggled to secure the U.S. Speakership, it took Kevin 15 miserably unbearable ballots, McCarthy so narrowly won that Speakership vote. This hasn't happened in the United States since 1923, that a Speaker fought ballot after ballot to secure his/her office. 

893/1,000 and 222/435 are two different compositions. 893 out of 1,000 seats total gives the party that holds these 893 seats full independence and absolute freedom to pass whatever they want without worrying about losing as high as even 40 or 300 votes. 222 out of 435 on the other hand, you can't afford to lose any vote to a defection, death, resignation, or even an abstention, which could give the 213 the advantage to kill any legislative action. 

Kevin has to count his votes, but as seen from his Speakership vote fight, he can't even do that on the first try to get elected, clearly no Nancy Pelosi, his predecessor who was known to be a master of collecting the 218th vote. 

MacAlasdair however, his majority is so meadow-sized that he is free from doing his math homework. When you rule a supermajority of 893-107 in a 1,000-seat body, you can simply just take a vacation to the Bahamas and not worry about getting any legislation done. But Kevin doesn't get a summer break, the school's in session all year for Kevin McCarthy, and he's got TONS of math work to do in class. Getting 218 votes in a weak majority of 222-213, Kevin needs school supplies: a math book, a pencil, and notebook paper to do some fractions to get to the answer: 218 votes to do anything. If he can't get it right, good luck asking Nancy Pelosi to be your tutor after years of constantly vilifying her since she reclaimed the Speakership in 2019. 

But to make Kevin feel better, during the 22nd Chawopolis Palace of 2010 to 2015, then-Prime Minister Jonathan Dragan Boleslaus IX had tons of math homework too, he had to work hard to get 301 votes for literally every single thing in a then-600-seat body in the Imperial Assembly, and if Boleslaus was alive now, he'd tell McCarthy that getting 301 votes was some of the hardest tasks to do. Kevin can't ask Boleslaus for help, Boleslaus left office in 2019 and shortly after that, he died from coronavirus during the pandemic, Boleslaus was 70 at the time of his death, so he was also old as well.

Another Prime Minister, get this! Shang Jong Parker himself, who is now Supreme Leader of the Empire of Chawosauria, had to face a mean fight to be elected Prime Minister on January 1, 1990 after the Chawallian Communist Party's disappointing showing in the 1989 Chawopolis Palace elections, where the Communists were so close to lose their supermajority by shedding 47 seats, Parker lost the first ballot, so he had to convince his defectors to vote present to lower the threshold, and it was close to backfiring, Parker won the Prime Ministership and the Speakership in a narrow margin of 231-229 with 140 of Parker's dissenters in the Communist Party agreeing to abstain. After a shocking successful election in 1995, the Chawallian Communist Party rallied around Parker in the 1996 Chawopolis Palace leadership election, winning a unanimity to hold his job as Prime Minister and Speaker, so for McCarthy to rally his Republicans around him, he needs to have a successful election in 2024, as in, Republicans expanding their majority in the 2024 congressional elections, but the problem is there are more vulnerable Republican seats than Democratic ones, and it doesn't help that the Republican majority is small by a razor-thin margin. 

During MacAlasdair's first Prime Ministership during the 2000s, he won both the 2000 and 2006 Chawopolis Palace leadership elections with unanimous support from the Chawallian Communist Party, and when MacAlasdair became Prime Minister again in 2022, he suffered a lot of defections from the newer Chawosaurian Communist Party, not because of a vendetta against MacAlasdair or even the man himself, but it was about sticking it to Supreme Leader Shang Jong Parker who MacAlaadair is historically associated with, giving Parker's haters in the Communist Party the opportunity to get their revenge on Parker for trying to force the Communist Party to become friendly to democracy and human rights, and for driving Chawosauria off the cliff in the Vietnam-like Chawo-Uralic War. 

The reason Kevin McCarthy suffered a mean rebellion within his own Republican majority was because of the perception that McCarthy isn't right-wing or conservative enough, that he's too friendly with Democrats and their liberal friends, and that Kevin's just too compromised-minded. It didn't help McCarthy all that much after predicting that Republicans would snatch 30 to 70 seats from the Democrats in the 2022 midterm elections, only to flip 9 seats from the Democrats in the midst of the overall nationwide shit-performance of the Republican Party in the 2022 midterms, that certainly didn't help McCarthy's case for a McCarthy Speakership. 

But McCarthy still made it by giving away the whole Barn to the crazed-far-right Republicans, severely weakening the Speakership so McCarthy can just hold the Speaker's gavel, and for what? Hold the gavel, that's all that Kevin wanted. MacAlasdair didn't have to give away anything, his supermajority was so lopsided that negotiation for the Prime Minister's gavel was an option MacAlasdair can just reject and go, and he'd still become Prime Minister, and that's what happened. 

MacAlasdair is on his hammock relaxing while his majority caters to him, while Kevin McCarthy is leading a dysfunctional puny Republican majority at gunpoint...by his very own majority. Any move Kevin makes that pisses his majority off, he gets the bullet for damn sure. 

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